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France Reviews
France is a very special country to visit. From
the cultural mecca of Paris to small medieval villages, it has something
for everyone. (Note: If you can't stand cigarette smoke, don't go
to France. Everybody smokes like a fiend there and there is no escape
from it. I typically bring clothes and just throw them away as the
trip progresses. If not, they will stink like smoke forever and
doing laundry in Paris is too big of a pain/expense. Just go to
the GAP and buy new clothes as needed).
Paris in General
Paris is not the most crapping friendly town in
the world—especially for handicrappers. Most places, such as
cafes, require you to be a customer before using the restrooms.
Or, even better, they will have pay toilets installed. So it is
always good to keep a few coins on hand just in case.
Paris Airports
The airports of Paris are excellent. A couple
of tips about getting to and from the airport and the city center
before we move on. To and from CDG, I suggest taking the Roissy
Train (also called the RER B) instead of the bus. Simply, the bus
will sit in a ton of traffic and the train won't. From CDG to Paris
center will cost about €7.50. BTW, the Euro is roughly equal to
the dollar. This train will take you to Paris Gare du Nord train
station (Paris has six train stations). It is important to note
that at this station, you must exit the train, go through a turnstile,
and go down stairs to catch a different train that continues on
to the city center. You do not need a new ticket for this. But make
sure to hold on to yours as you will be required to use it to get
in AND OUT of various turnstiles along the way. Or you can catch
the Metro to other parts. I point this out because on the Metro/RER
map, it appears as if the train goes straight through without a
stop or change. From Orly, the bus or train works fine and seemed
less confusing to me. See the web site for more details and directions.
Web
Site
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Charles de Gaulle Airport
(Roissy CDG)
  
The first thing you should
know about CDG is that it is also called Roissy.
This is important because all of the trains and
busses to and from the airport to the city are
called Roissy. But more about that in a moment.
Dumbass that I am didn't take
a photo of the toilets here because I thought
(wrongly) that I already had a few from my trip
last year. I probably thought the same thing last
year too. Regardless, the toilets are typical
institutional stalls of various configuration.
Nothing special. However, try to find restrooms
in the gate areas before exiting through Customs
& Immigration. They are more available and
easily found. Once you pass to the outside ring,
it becomes more difficult to find the facilities.
As mentioned before, they are nothing special
and will provide a good opportunity to go before
you attempt to interface with the French rail
system. Web
Site
User Friendliness = 2
Cleanliness = 2.5
Privacy = 3
Facilities = 2.5
Overall Rating = 2.5
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Paris Neighborhoods
The city is divided into 20 different neighborhoods
called arrondissements. We will give
you a brief overview of each and then you can click on each one
to see some of the best and worst places to "go" in each.
| 1ère |
The geographical center of Paris.
Includes the Louvre, Les Halles and the Palais Royal. |
| 2ème |
Primarily a business district.
Landmarks include the Paris Stock Market (the Bourse) and the
Bibliothèque Nationale. |
| 3ème |
This neighborhood, along with
the 4ème, makes up the Marais, one of Paris' oldest neighborhoods.
Characterized by 17th century mansions. |
| 4ème |
The center of the Marais, the
Ile St. Louis and the Ile de la Cité are the oldest parts
of Paris and include Notre Dame Cathedral. |
| 5ème |
The Latin Quarter got its name
from the Sorbonne, where Latin was spoken by students in the
Middle Ages. Lots of cafes and shops. |
| 6ème |
The St. Germain was once known
for its bohemians and intellectuals. Now it is know for its
upscale restaurants and shops. |
| 7ème |
This wealthy neighborhood includes
the Eiffel Tower, Napoleon's Tomb, the Rodin Museum and the
Musée d'Orsay. |
| 8ème |
A diverse neighboorhood it includes
the Arc de Triomphe and Champs Elysèe down to the Place
de la Concorde. |
| 9ème |
Includes the Paris Opera, the
Pigalle (red light district) and the Moulin Rouge. |
| 10ème |
Includes two main train stations,
Gare de l'Est and Gare du Nord. |
| 11ème |
Primarily residential district,
the Place de la Bastille and the New Opera can be found here. |
| 12ème |
A primarily residential neighborhood. |
| 13ème |
A primarily residential neighborhood. |
| 14ème |
Known for cafés and restaurants
around the Blvd. Montparnasse. |
| 15ème |
A primarily residential neighborhood. |
| 16ème |
Exclusive, wealthy neighborhood. |
| 17ème |
A diverse residential neighborhood. |
| 18ème |
Montmarte is an artsy village-like
neighborhood. Includes Sacre Couer Cathedral. |
| 19ème |
Outer-lying residential area. |
| 20ème |
Outer-lying residential area. Includes
the Père-Lachaise cemetery housing many famous people
including Jim Morrison. |
1ère Arrondissement
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The Louvre (Main Lobby)
The Louvre (Remote) |
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Musée du Louvre
One of the places you must
see in Paris is the Louvre
(unless they are on strike). I have been to the
Louvre many times before but last year it was
closed due to a strike. This year I went back
and scouted the situation and there are some good
tips and tricks.
First, the Louvre has great access
to bathrooms. Most people don't realize it, but
the main reception area under the famous I.M.
Pei designed pyramid is free to enter and houses
a good, free place to go, even if you are not
going to enter the exhibits.
Under the entrance to the Richelieu
wing of the museum, there is the public toilet.
It has a few stalls but don't be surprised if
they are overrun by Chinese tourists who are very
slow pissers and spend the entire time hocking
loogies. Your best bet here is early in the day
before the crowds start. The place is relatively
clean considering the amount of use it gets and
privacy is ok.
Entrance to the museum is €7.50
and tickets are good all day so you can come and
go as you please. I won't spend a lot of time
telling you how incredible the Louvre really is.
The Mona Lisa is the most overrated thing in the
whole place. Make sure to check out Hamurabi's
Code (you know, the first written law. An eye
for an eye and all that), the Greek and Roman
statues (everything you studied in art history
class) and the large format paintings. (Be aware
that many exhibits are prone to periodic closures
for no apparent reason and without warning).
If you enter the exhibit area
of the museum, there will be numerous pit stops
along the way and are marked on your map. The
catch is that they will close certain areas of
the museum from time to time so you may get blocked
from a facility shown on the map. However, these
remote pit stops can be your best bet for availability
and privacy. All of the facilities vary in terms
of their design and facilities but most seemed
to offer full walls and doors, good privacy and
cleanliness.
It was also my impression that
the entire facility including restrooms were very
handicrapping accessible. You can check their
web site www.louvre.fr
for layouts, schedules and other information.
The Louvre (Main Lobby)
User Friendliness = 3
Cleanliness = 2.5
Privacy = 2
Facilities = 3
Overall Rating = 3
The Louvre (Remote)
User Friendliness = 2.5
Cleanliness = 3
Privacy = 4
Facilities = 3
Overall Rating = 3.5
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back to top ^
2ème Arrondissement
3ème Arrondissement
4ème Arrondissement
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Notre Dame Cathedral
While conveniently located
next to the Cathedral, these public facilities
(similar to the Eiffel Tower) are so crowded that
they are rendered almost unusable. Expect a line
of at least 30 to 50 people and a long wait. Be
prepared to be hassled by gypsy women aggressively
begging for money. Try a local cafe instead and
avoid this place for emergency crapping.
User Friendliness = 1
Cleanliness = 1
Privacy = 1
Facilities = 1
Overall Rating = 1
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5ème Arrondissement
6ème Arrondissement
7ème Arrondissement
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Musée
d'Orsay
This spectacular facility offers
a number of good crapping opportunities. Like
all famous sites in Paris, this place can get
crowded and be tough in emergencies. However,
skip the toilets at the main entrance (although
there is nothing wrong with them) and head to
the back toilets or the ones located on the upper
floors. The facilities will be a little smaller,
offering fewer stalls, but will likely be less
crowded.
Each facility is completely different
in design but all seemed normal with full doors,
relative cleanliness and privacy. Some will require
a bit of stair climbing to reach. Handicrapping
seems to be reasonable but may be easier in the
main facilities up front. There are plenty of
elevators to help negotiate any stair cases for
the exhibits themselves. The museum will help
any who need it. One note, the toilets close 15
minutes BEFORE the museum starts to close at 5:30.
Check online for exact schedules, etc.
www.musee-orsay.fr
User Friendliness = 3
Cleanliness = 3
Privacy = 3
Facilities = 3
Overall Rating = 3
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Rodin Museum
Located just next to the Invalides
and Napoleon's Tomb, this museum is a good, solid
place to pause for a thought or two. The facilities
are located in the gardens. Make sure to assume
the approved position as shown left.
User Friendliness = 3
Cleanliness = 3
Privacy = 3
Facilities = 3
Overall Rating = 3
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8ème Arrondissement
9ème Arrondissement
10ème Arrondissement
11ème Arrondissement
12ème Arrondissement
13ème Arrondissement
14ème Arrondissement
15ème Arrondissement
16ème Arrondissement
17ème Arrondissement
18ème Arrondissement
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Sacre Couer (Montmartre)
Sacre Couer Catherdral (Sacred
Heart) is located on top of Montemartre hill and
affords a spectacular view of the city of Paris
below. The downside is that the toilets were closed
and therefore offer no solice to the bowels. Don't
count on this for crapping.
User Friendliness = 0
Cleanliness = ?
Privacy = ?
Facilities = 1
Overall Rating = 0
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Elysèe Montmartre
Over a century old and still
standing, this legendary venue in the heart of
the Pigalle area continues to thrive! Used in
the past for different kinds of entertainment
including boxing matches, plays and variety shows,
the Elysée has since become Paris best-loved music
venue. Cult groups and well-known artists alike
perform here on a regular basis, its retro-style
décor making it unique. A big hit with the young,
evenings such as the Elysée-Montmartre ball (with
a full orchestra) or Open House (techno music)
are frequently organized at the weekend. Like
the other liver performance venues reviewed in
the England Reviews, this place is much different
before the show then during/after. Stalls are
shared with the women with a seperate area for
urinating (the Roman trough). Great place to see
a concert but best avoided for crapping.
www.elyseemontmartre.com
User Friendliness = 1
Cleanliness = 1
Privacy = 1
Facilities = 1
Overall Rating = 1
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19ème Arrondissement
20ème Arrondissement
Lyon
Courchevel
Centered in an area containing Chamonix, Mount Blanc,
Albertville, Geneva and Grenoble, this exciting ski resort town
is just an hour from Lyon on the Swiss and Italian borders. Home
to some Olympic events and some great skiing, there is at least
one really good place to "go" when you are there.
Chamonix
Megève
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Megève
Located in the French Alps
just about an hour from Lyon is an amazing little
town called Megève. It is a ski village
and a wonderful place to walk around for a few
hours.
www.megeve.com
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Chateau Chambord
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Chateau
Chambord
Listed by the Travel Channel as
the #7 Top Castles in Europe, this gem located
in the Loire Valley of central France (read middle
of nowhere) is breathtaking for sure.
Built in 1547, Chambord was home
to French king Louis XIV and inspiration to painter
Leonardo di Vinci and writer Moliere. Nearly 2,000
men worked to build the awe-inspiring structure,
which includes 440 rooms, 365 fireplaces, 84 staircases
and stables to accommodate 1,200 horses. One of
the highlights inside is a double spiral staircase
that allows two people to go up or down without
crossing each other.
However, if you have to take a
crap be prepared for an adventure. There are two
main alternatives here. The first, illustrated
in the second photo, is the pay-per-crap option.
Access to this facility will cost you .30 Euros
or roughly .30 cents. Paying to "go"
in Europe is a common thing and quite normal,
even in restaurants. We highly suggest this option
despite the entrance fee as it is clean and much
more user friendly. We give this one a solid 3
out of 5 for its pure accessibility since this
place is really in the middle of the woods.
The second option is the facility
provided inside the castle itself. Shown here
in the third photo, you can plainly see this is
the lesser of the two options. Housed in a uniquely
European style utilitarian port o let type housing,
this option is for emergencies only. On a cold
day such as this one was it could be a virtual
death sentence. The men's facility (on the left)
is a bit drafty and not nearly as nice as the
pay one. Enter and crap at your own risk. We give
this one a 1 out of 5 due to the open viewing
and pneumonia inducing ventilation scheme.
A third option is to use the facilities
at one of the small cafes housed in the gift shops
near the pay facility, but these facilities are
unreliable as the shops can often be closed. Also
you may be required to "be a customer".
www.chambord.org
Option #1
User Friendliness = 3
Cleanliness = 3
Privacy = 2.5
Facilities = 2.5
Overall Rating = 3
Option #2
User Friendliness = 1
Cleanliness = 1
Privacy = 1
Facilities = 1
Overall Rating = 1
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Train à Grande
Vitesse (TGV)
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