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Cruise of Crapping

A one week getaway cruise to the Eastern Carribbean full of free food, relaxation, free food, gambling, free food, shows, free food .... You get the idea! With all that free food, you will definately need to find a comfortable place to relax and take a load off. Here is a picturesque time capsule of places I recommend. —Cheech CQ Middle Eastern Correspondent

Norwegian Sky - Cabin 0209

'Cramped but comfortable'. This toilet is your private throne for one week aboard the ship. The benefits included a daily cleaning by the hotel cleaning crew, and plenty of toilet paper. Additionally, this toilet held some extra flushing power as well as a new safety feature. The lid of the toilet must be closed in order to flush. Downside was the fact that the overall bathroom was very cramped, and if you think you can take a load off and have your significant other brush her teeth in the same bathroom, you are sorely mistaken. Outside of that, and no padded seat or Charmin, it was home away from home.


Atlantis Resort & Casino, Paradise Island, Bahamas

For the aura that the Atlantis resort gives on the outside, the inside is just a nice. Marble floors cover the bathroom and gold accented pieces around the vanities are nice. Lots of stalls to choose from was also a plus. The major downside was the fact that the hotel staff use these restroom facilities: and in one instance when a Bahamian bell boy stopped by in the next stall to urinate I felt very uncomfortable. This was due to the 5 minute urination I had to listen to, echoing of the walls and marble floors. This definitely dampened any thoughts I had of fully unloading. If you had the whole room to yourself, a definite thumbs up, just be careful of others.


View Lodge - St. Thomas, USVI

Not bad for a high traffic area. The restroom is tucked in the back of the facility, and when I used it, the cleaning crew had just finished. I had a clean bowl, with blue liquid. If you need to go, and you're stuck in the mountains, this is a definite place to be. Even better, when you're done you can go to the balcony and see a beautiful scenic view of the Islands, and looking at all that water, you may just have to go pee again.


Fort El Morro - San Juan, Puerto Rico

Be careful, be very very careful. Privacy is non existent. Use this restroom only if you have to. Its clean, which is good, however the number of people coming in and out of the facility will make your head spin. Remember, this is one of the stops for all tour buses and vans, so every tourist that has been 'holding' it will be using this facility.


San Juan Hotel & Casino - San Juan, Puerto Rico

A Rolls Royce. Marble floors, oak doors, gold toilet handle. A masterpiece. Secluded, totally private and soundproof stalls. All you need is a magazine rack and you are in heaven. By far, a 10 out of 10 on all accounts, with 2 full rolls of soft toilet paper, and a low boy toilet seat so your feet don't hang above the floor. Custom. This toilet was made for the rich and famous; its worth the trip. And, no bathroom attendant!




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