Miami Fusion--Major League Crapping, I Mean Soccer
The Mystery Crapper
is always up for a sporting event, especially when the Miami Fusion
are in town. In a special report, TMC went undercover to give CQ
readers the poop on the league-leading Fusion, the unofficial soccer
team of CQ, from the midfield stripe. www.miamifusion.com
of all, very rarely is an outdoor stadium the type of facility you
want to crap in. But all in all, Lockhart Stadium, where the Fusion
play their home matches is a reasonable place to "go".
this point in the report, we have to address the fact that the Miami
Fusion play in Fort Lauderdale which is a good half-hour to 45 minutes
away from Miami. That is like saying the NY Giants/Jets play in
New York. Understanding this, combined with lots of beer at your
tailgate party almost ensures that you will need to visit the toilets
during your excursion.
at Lockhart Stadium.
Preki shows his crapping style.
and Fusion mascot PK.
take the field.
of stalls with good privacy mark the highlights of this functional
facility. Plain but reasonably clean, it would do in a pinch. Watch
out for day games in Summer where the non-airconditioned crappers
can get a little gamey when folks forget to flush. All in all, the
Fusion get a 2.5 rating.
for the game, the Fusion destroyed last year's league champs, the
Kansas City Wizards, 5-1. Of course, TMC had premium midfield seats
and captured some of the action for you. Note the beer vendor with
the big hat and the giant Lizard. That beer vendor is at just about
every South Florida sporting event wearing that same hat.
Fusion have a number of players that are currently or where once
with the US national team. US stars like Carlos Llamosa, Preki,
Pablo Mastroeni, Jim Rooney, Nick Rimando team with International
stars Diego Serna, Alex Pineda Chacon and Ian Bishop to crush all
opponents. Led by popular Head Coach and local hero from the Fort
Lauderdale Striker days of the NASL, Ray Hudson, the Fusion are
poised to take the MLS Cup this year.
Mystery Crapper urges all CQ readers to support their local Major
League Soccer team. It is great family fun and an excellent bargain.
Ths stadiums are intimate, the tickets are cheap, the soccer is
getting pretty good, and the crapping is just fine.